In The Waiting Room

What does it mean to be a woman? How does one detangle their self from that definition? In class before taking out mid term we read a poem by Elizabeth Bishop, “In The Waiting Room” I was rather intrigued by it and wanted to go deep but do to the fact that we had our test i looked it over on my own time and read on Elizabeth’s background. Bishop writes this poem in a child narrative. “Her” child narrative. For example in line 6 “it was winter. It got dark”. This shows her age at the time but through the lens of a adult poet. Bishop poem is examining her own life, capturing themes such as the realization about gender identity, the women’s rights movement and WWI. She is explaining it thought the wandering mind of a child in a dentist waiting room with grown-up people, overcoats and magazines. (lines7-10)The last two stanzas describes her going back a forth from her memory and the present. Example she writes “Then I was back in it. The war was on. Outside...” While she examines the unanswerable question of what being a woman means, Bishop also struggles to find how her identity is defined within the context of this large, gendered identity. She collapses herself with her Aunt Consuelo's voice...(her Aunt’s identity).  She even talks about women, that their outward physical looks “trousers and skirts and boots” and questions is that what it means to be a woman? She sees the stagnant and society’s criteria on womanhood based on that time. And when she reads The National Geographic of tribal woman and children she realizes that being a girl is different from being a woman in so many ways.

I really enjoyed this poem looking up information during the time period of Elizabeth and thinking about what it means to be a woman. The realization of becoming a woman, be labeled as one...and knowing that all the struggles women faced and still face has helped shaped us but not define us.

Reflect

On Tuesday our Mid Semester portfolio was do and I wasn’t too happy that I was going to be evaluate my own blogs. I picked my top five blogs that I felt best represented my work. It was hard because I couldn’t pick between two.  I then answered a series of questions and wrote a reflection on blogging, how I felt about blogging and what I had learned from blogging. It helped me to see for the most part I like blogging. Furthermore, it became a great way for me to reflect on what I have done thus far in the semester. Reflecting is so important in just about every area of our lives. And many times we forget to reflect. Reflecting was a key point in doing our portfolios it better helped me to evaluate my work I have done this far in the semester it showed me my strengths and weak spots in my writing. I really enjoyed re reading my blogs, I had forgot what I had written on some of my older blogs and I definitely see my growth within my writing from my older to the more resent blogs. I also liked that I got to look back on my thought pattern on how a felt about a topic or activity I wrote on.

 Doing this profile helped me to recognize my writing abilities and definitely what I need to work on because I think that my writing abilities are not as strong as I would like them to be and I like every chance I get to improve them. I feel have learned through blogging on how to better develop my skills in critical thing, analyzing, and creativity.

Once in class we got to sit with our small groups and discuss our portfolios, based off of the few questions that Professor Corrigan placed on the board along with my peers own personal thoughts and feelings toward their blogs and portfolios . The evaluation was a great way to better help me improve and learn more about myself in the way I write and think on the material I’m learning not only in Literature class but in my other courses.

The Sound of Joel

I am really not a big fan of studying literature. But again that week in Sept where we focused and read the book of Joel was GREAT! First off I feel so blessed to get to even look at scripture in a literature class or a class at all. This class day was so spiritual to me which I would have never of thought to have a spiritual lit class. We discussed in class two major focal points that we dealt with while reading Joel and they were Sound and Visual. We read the book of Joel more than once and discussed on topics likes: what can one gain by looking at scripture as literature. What was most important or central lines to the meaning of Joel and does speaking aloud or proclaiming passages give you more that just reading them.  For me, I know I forget at times that the bible is literature and I loved that Corrigan let us read a version without the number so that we could see it more for what it is, a poem. I know I’m the type that does not like to read aloud. So when the exercise to go outside for 20 minutes and read the passage of Joel was presented and Professor called on me in class if this seemed to me to be a good activity. I smiled and said mmhmm. But really thought it was a dumb idea. However, it actually became one of my favorite activities we have done in class. At first I felt stupid outside reading aloud a passage from Joel. But then I realized that in a way there is so much power when you speak out loud. I had an encounter with God as I was reading his word aloud and not just in my head to where they could get altered from my own thoughts. Because truly in that exercise I learned that you don’t always comprehend what you are really reading because our minds wonder and your not focus to what’s on the page. But when you read it aloud your focus and I know and can understand what I am are reading.  During my read, I began to feel the presence of God and by reading outside I was also in his creation with nature it was such a great experience. God at times my use nature, sorrow, or other common occurrences to draw us closer to Him. I even got to sit with Shantel and discuss some of the things from the passage and how we encounter God, along with other spiritual topics and what we believe. This activity that we did was defiantly focused on sound. Hearing the passage, aloud, proclaiming it, along with hearing Shantal’s thoughts and even hearing it from my heart.  God covenant with His people will endoure forever!

Brush Strokes of knowledge

The week where we looked at Joel and painted has by far been my favorite week thus far. Getting to look at the Word and paint! AMAZING! I believe painting is another way of learning. Professor Corrigan really helps to bring this class alive to me.  I clearly remember this week, like it was just last class meeting. Our task was to bring in supplies to paint. Paint what exactly? I didn’t know but I was excited. Even though I can’t really paint, I find it so calming.  To be honest I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. I didn’t know what we would be painting but I knew that it wasn’t going to be just your typical painting, just based on what we read in Corrigan’s class. However, it was to paint visually.  He pushes us to go deeper, think deeper, see things, feel things differently and deeper instead of just the bare minimum of the surface of Literature. Like in class discussing the 2 focal points on reading Joel and this was the visual aspect of it. To me not only was I painting visual but I heard and felt what I was painting from the soft stimulating music played and along with what I was reading from the passage I picked which was Joel 2:30-31 “The Day of the Lord “. As I kept reading and seeing the words on the page from this verse, reflection, relaxation and creativity arose as I was painting what I felt. I didn’t paint literally but more abstract you could say. By letting my colors and the strokes speak my feeling, and representing the words and phrases of Joel.

I chose this verse because something about it came alive to me that day we read it aloud.  And I wanted to paint on the wonders that God displayed. I wanted to keep layering what I was grasping from it and continue what I was learning from it, spiritually, poetically, even as a stress reliever all the different types of ways  instead of starting on a new passage to paint. I love the fact that we got to paint to Joel and not to another poem because it was definitely a great way to reflect on God’s word and the paint unto Him to Glorify God through brush strokes.

Visual of Joel

My Painting on Joel done Sept 23. Joel 2:30-31 "The Day of the Lord"

Love's Minimum Wage

         Sitting back feeling anxious yet at peace he sits back in his seat, not in first class but in coach for the very first time in his life. He finds it very displeasing, the cramped seats, the lack of food, and the congestion. Second guessing himself and mentally preparing for take off he sits and ponders on this life changing challenge he has volunteered to do. Watching the stewardess slowing walking down the aisle taking orders from each person he notices the smile upon the stewardess face. He asks himself, “does minimum wage equal happiness? Normalcy? Is this what I want in life”? As he continues to ask himself questions about the so called “normal life” he slowly closes his eyes and retraces back to the decision he made 1 month ago. He was at a coffee shop with his best friend Aaron. He said, “Aaron do you ever feel like this life, that we are living is pointless? I mean do you feel complete? Because I sure don’t”. He remembered the look on Aaron’s face. It was a puzzling look. Aaron replied, “Man we are living the good life, we’re rich, handsome I mean what more do you want? It’s all about…” but before Aaron could finish he cuts him off “see right there, that’s what I’m talking about, I don’t want that. I want to find out who I truly can be and find someone for me instead of what I got. So I’m going to go, I’m going to live a minimum life, work a minimum wage job for a year.”! Aaron mouth dropped to the floor he couldn’t understand but he supported him and from that point he knew that there was more to life than just money.

       “Ding” the sound from over head and fasten your seat belt light interrupted his thought. Before he knew it the plane began to descend and he found himself passing through the international gate, baggage clam, and continuing out the airport. Sticking out like a sore thumb among the Dubai people. He was a tall 30 year old bachelor, your traditional all American man. He was rugged. His eyes showed curiosity and he had hair that you wanted to run your fingers through. He looked and soaked in all that laid before his eyes the city was breath taking. There were sky scrapers and the women wearing dresses in bright radiant colors. As he began to observe his surrounds more he realized he had went to one of the riches countries in the world. He had known before hand but he didn’t truly imagine Dubai to quit like this. He thought “what am I doing here? This is truly going to be a challenge, I have placed myself right back in my old ways”. He quickly realized that this was exactly what he needed to truly push himself into growing. As he hales for a cab, he takes a deep breath and under his breath whispers “welcome to your new home for the next year”.

          He finally reaches his new fully furnished apartment that he had pre rented before leaving home. He then begins to settle in. Later on that day he attends his job ordination, where he receives a uniform ,along with instructions and fills out paper work, life as he knew it was about to change.  It is now his first day of work as a concierge at a very high ends Hotel in Dubai called Deira Hotel. Before stepping behind the counter he pins the name Josh, a bright shinny gold name tag on his upper left side of his chest. Josh’s boss stands along side of him and utters some encouraging words. “Don’t worry! If you don’t get everything right, if there is anything you don’t understand or have questions about just come and ask. I’ll be more than welcome to assist you”. Josh took a deep sigh of relief to let out the nerves he was feeling.” Thank you sir”. Josh was acting like he had never worked a day in his life. Well, in a way he pretty much hadn’t. He came from old money. The only thing that Josh could ever remember that came close to him actually working was when he had helped his father with some office work but that only lasted for about a month. Josh’s first day of work was going rather well. He seemed though to be struggling with the task of being at the front desk and some encounters with rude customers. He couldn’t understand why he was being treated as such. Quickly, being reminded that he was no longer going to be respected by others based of his wealth, his pervious status. Also he is quickly reminded the he is in a new country with new ways of doing things. Just by observing the people in the lobby and the few customers he has already encountered. Josh got through the major challenges that he was mostly going to face through out the day. Josh knew it wasn’t going to be a day like any other. There was just something about it. “was it the new life style, the people, what was it”? In three hour from him clocking in, he notices this gorgeous woman as she sparked walking into the wide open, marble floor lobby, struggling to carry with her 5 pieces of luggage. She looked about in her late 20. She was clothed in bright colors and sequences and covered in jewelry: chandler earrings, rainbow colored bracelets on both wrists, along with a nose piercing.  She had long silky black hair and tan smooth skin that looked perfectly kissed by the sun. As Josh ran from behind the counter to assist the breath taking woman with her bags, all Josh could do is stare into her perfectly almond shaped eyes and her full lips. “Let me get that for you”! Says Josh. The woman places one of her bags she is holding on the floor and extends out her right hand. “Oh thank you so much! I’m Karishma by the way”. Just gazing at her beauty he almost forgets to say his name. “I’m Josh” he replied. Karishma was from India and came from wealth herself that was very clear to see through her appearance and tons of luggages she carried. She inherited her father’s millions when he had died. He died when she was 12 from a sickness that wasn’t looked after properly.  Despite her wealth she is very sweet and loving. Yet she is hard to read at times. Karishma keeps up this wall against many people and doesn’t let too many people into her world. Karishma fears that men will only purse her because of her riches. She wishes her father was still alive to continue to teach her what to look for when it comes to finding a soul mate. However, there was something about Josh… thoughts began to race her mind. “ what was it? Was it he’s foreign good looks? Or the curiosity that filled his eyes”? She wasn’t sure but something about him struck her interest. Karishma was visiting Dubai for quite some time. she was excited to spend her time in Dubai.

       Time was passing but for them it was standing still. They began to show interest in one another and began to date. But as time moved on Josh feared to tell her, the most important thing that once shaped him. He was afraid to reveal this to her, because over the time they spent together he had learned about her feeling toward men that had money or men that only wanted money. And the stresses of life were starting to hit him hard. Keeping a secret from Karishma and the struggles of living minimum wage eat at him every day. So many times he just wants to revert back to his old way of living not having to worry about the struggles he faces. He finds it such a challenge trying to juggle both worlds stretching his pay checks and keeping Karishma happy knowing that he just your average joe.

          As the secret is eating at him he decides to take Karishma out on a date to reveal to her his secret. The waiter sits them down at the table. As josh is unable to even enjoy a night out he tell her, “I need to inform you about information of myself I have been holding from you.” She says, “Let’s wait till after we eat”. But he can’t finish this night. As he tells her this long awaited confession he see the pain fill up in her eyes her smile turn into hurt she doesn’t say anything she just slowly gets up form the table walks away a crack fill his heart to realize he has lost her. In the distance he sees her stop in mid tracks she turns around and smiles. And lips “I already knew” and continues walking.